Fun W/ Millions: 45 Minutes


I didn’t have much time this morning at the Farmer’s Market; my wife had a doctor’s appointment which gave me only 45 minutes to check out the fruits and nuts. I found them not quite ripe…
null I saw a guy with a professional video camera and wanted to know what show he was shooting. “I can’t tell you, but you’d know.” “What if I don’t watch T.V.?” I asked. “I guess you won’t know then.” I gave him a million-dollar bill gospel tract and he thanked me. I asked him if he would go to Heaven or Hell, and he said Heaven. “Why is that?” “Because of Jesus,” he replied in a low conspiratorial voice. Not wanting to blow his Hollywood cover, I spoke softly. “Where do you go to church?” “I just moved into the area, so I don’t go to one yet.” I had an idea. “Hey. Why don’t you interview me and I’ll give the Gospel while you’re shooting.” He didn’t care for the idea. “They’ll just edit it out.” “That’s okay. It’ll be a good witness for all those crew members standing around.” He declined and I moved on.

The crew, actors, P.A.’s, A.D.’s, and go-fers were hanging out in the park. I ran up and asked if this was a cable show. It was. “I know they don’t pay you enough…” They smiled and nodded their heads. “Here’s a million for you!” “Thanks.” I ran to about 25 other crew members before they had a chance to read the back of the bill. Suddenly, one guy shouted, “Don’t take it! Tear it up!” I looked back at him and smiled as I scurried away.

On my home, I stopped my car when I saw two Jehovah’s Witnesses walking on the sidewalk. I offered each of them a million. They said, “No thank-you. We’ve gotten one of those before…”



  1. I can’t believe that guy yelled “Don’t take it”!

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