“The best things in life are free—and $19.95!” –Billy Mays, famous television pitchman
I WENT TO A NEW DENTIST and was impressed by what I received after my initial visit, apart from the good news that I had no new cavities or tooth problems. They gave me a gift bag with all sorts of cool stuff in it: toothbrush, toothpaste, a custom coffee cup and a few more items. When was the last time you got a gift bag from your dentist, optometrist or proctologist? Bet ya never. I was so impressed with that token of appreciation—for my first-time visit—that I asked our Elder Board if we could do the same when guests visit www.communitychurchofthehills.org.
They said yes.
Everyone loves free stuff, that’s why you will get a little something with every point of contact when you check out our church. The first thing you will get are free smiles and, if you aren’t too much of a rough and tumble Texan, a hug. Then we give you the gift bag. Inside, there is a one-of-kind coffee cup with our name and logo, worth at least ninety-nine bucks on Ebay, and a pass to see six free movies along with a unique pressed penny and some Test-a-mints. Yes, actual Christian breath mints, like Jesus and the Apostles chewed!
Does this sound like pandering or overkill? I thought the same thing too, at first, but people are extremely valuable to us here. We want you to know how much we love and appreciate you in the very first few minutes you arrive, and if this helps to convey a sense of caring, well, we spare no expense.