How to Read the Boring Parts of the Bible

A MINISTRY LEADER WAS CAUGHT OFF GUARD when a pastor asked her to do a reading of Scripture before the church service started. That’s all. “Just a simple reading before he preached—no commentary, no embellishments, just read it and take my seat,” said the writer for Christianity Today. “Why my sudden crisis of confidence? The text was Luke 3:23–38, the genealogy of Jesus, composed of 77 tongue-twisting names, requiring a solid two and a half minutes to read aloud from start to finish.

“The pastor, a dear friend, noted the look on my face and asked, ‘Is it weird to read that before I preach?’ Everything in me knew I should say no, but I wanted to yell, ‘Yes! I’m just going to read these endless names and wander back to my seat in the awkward ensuing silence?’”

I can relate. Though I haven’t yet read any genealogies to my congregation, I do have to slog through them in my daily reading of the bible. I just started 1 Chronicles in the Old Testament. There before me are nine chapters of names I’m not familiar with—nine chapters!!! Here’s how to do it: Skim.

Now before you call me a slacker, a cheat, or a lazy Bible reader, please know that I’ve read through these names word-for-word at least once in the twenty-plus times I’ve read through the Old Testament. You need to as well. Why?

Eaten by Worms

EATEN BY WORMS. Can you think of a worse way to go?

This was God’s judgment on one evil ruler and it’s guaranteed that every wicked person will suffer some type of awful fate.

But what did King Herod do? After killing the Apostle James and imprisoning Peter, he gave a speech, believed he was God, then “Immediately, because Herod did not give praise to God, an angel of the Lord struck him down, and he was eaten by worms and died” (Acts 12:23).

Pride got the best of him. His God-hating ways caught up to him. Every single person who shakes their fist at the Almighty will perish.

“There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD” (Proverbs 21:30).

This is good news for those who have suffered under tyrants. They will experience God’s retributive justice.

Do you think Hitler isn’t paying for his crimes against humanity? How about Joseph Stalin and Mao Zedong, who between them murdered over 60 million of their own citizens? How about Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un, that ruthless dictator of North Korea? Putin? Xi Jinping?

Want to know what God thinks?

Why I Limp

I WALK WITH A LIMP.

They say it’s arthritis, but more likely, it’s from years of wrestling with God.

“Grown up pastors walk with a limp,” writes Jerod Wilson. “They’ve had their feet knocked out from under them at some point and discovered that God is still good all the time. Grown up pastors know that the gospel is the only power to save, and that it is of first importance, so in their maturity they’ve grown weary of putting on airs or putting on shows or putting on millstones.”

I’m still growing up.

God First? Or Chores, Work, Kids & Everything Else?

DOES GOD OCCUPY FIRST PLACE IN YOUR LIFE?

Vladimir Lenin was the leader who implemented Communism in the Soviet Union. In the early 1900s, he met with a small group of people in London and set down 4 “Totals” for the cause of Communism:

1. Total acceptance of the cause
2. Total dedication to the cause
3. Total discipline in the cause
4. Total action for the cause.

That’s what it looks like to totally love God.

Useless for God?

DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK GOD CAN’T USE YOU?

Moses had anger issues, stuttered, and murdered a man, yet he was God’s chosen vessel to deliver his people from their enemies.

Also, remember that Noah was a drunk…

Abraham was too old…

Jacob was a liar…

Leah was ugly…

Joseph was abused…

Gideon was fearful…

Samson was a backsliding womanizer…

Rahab was a prostitute…

Jeremiah was too young…

David was an adulterer, a murderer, and a negligent father…

Solomon forgot God…

Elijah was depressed and suicidal…

Jonah was a bigot and ran from God…

Naomi was a widow…

Job lost everything…

Matthew worked for the I.R.S….

Peter denied Christ…

The disciples were clueless, argumentative, prideful, had little faith, and failed Jesus at his darkest hour…

Martha had her priorities all wrong…

The Samaritan woman had lived with five men out of wedlock…

Zacchaeus was a cheat…

Paul was a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man…

LAZARUS WAS DEAD!