Thar’s a Scorpion in My Bed!

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I found something in my sheets the other night that was way worse than a horse’s head…yes, my Texas nightmare came to pass!

I was sound asleep for about an hour and a half when I felt something at my toes, so, I pushed it away with my feet. I tried to think of something else, like baseball, or imagined that it was a wrinkle in the sheet. The thought of what it could be was too much for me to handle in my groggy state of mind. Still, I tried to go back to sleep and convince myself it was only a nightmare.

A few seconds later a huge pain shot out from my hamstring right behind my knee. Wide awake now, I quickly turned on my reading lamp to see what got me as I pushed the covers off hurriedly, only to discover a scorpion scurrying away atop the sheet. Then, after a few seconds of light, the lamp bulb broke.

Dark. Still out there. Somewhere. Laughing.

Furiously, I tried to turn on my nightstand lamp, but, panicked, knocked it over into the trash can. I jumped out of bed rubbing the back of my leg and turned on the overhead room light. Frantic now, I yanked off all the covers, sheets and pillows, threw them to the floor and prayed that God would show me the culprit. Frustrated, I let out an anguished, unholy expletive and wondered how Jesus could allow this to happen to me. Worse, why did He ever create such a useless, ugly, sneaky-stingy-thing in the first place?

I looked around, up and down, for the predatory arachnid. Gone. Nowhere. Perhaps it built a nest in the mattress? Darn it! Gotta find it! Where was the little *expletive deleted* anyway???!!! How in the world will I ever get back to sleep? I’m gonna have to burn my whole bed, maybe even the entire house to the ground. What do I doooooo?

This was no small worry. MedScape reports that there are an estimated 1.2 million scorpion stings a year resulting in over 3,200 deaths. For every person killed by a venomous snake, ten die from poisonous scorpions. In Mexico, 1,000 people perish every year in this fashion, and, and…Texas is next to Mexico! Thankfully, there were only four deaths in the last eleven years in the States. But, what about all those people who supposedly died in their sleep? Maybe, just maybe….

My imagination was getting away from me. Fear of not finding El Escorpión was driving me insane. What if I couldn’t locate it?

In the Book of Revelation, after the fifth trumpet of God’s Judgment sounds, Satan and his demonic hordes are released from the abyss to create havoc upon the earth. They will terrorize the human race, inflicting pain, “and their torment was like the torment of a scorpion when it stings a man. And in those days men will seek death and will not find it; they will long to die, and death flees from them.” This is the sentence pronounced on all those who were unrepentant in the last days and refused to acknowledge Christ as Lord. Three times in Revelation chapter 9, scorpions are referred to as God’s punishment for unbelieving humans. Just that fact alone would cause anyone to trust in the Lord Jesus Christ and be saved. Who wants that in their future?

But, right now in the present, I needed to find that horrible little mini-demon.

And, there it was. A little scorpion crawling along the wall next to my bed. I smashed it mercilessly into a greasy brown stain with my Flo-Joe sandal. The trial wasn’t over though, because the one I saw in my bed was much, much larger. Where was he?


What was that? On the floor? Crawling towards my shoe rack? A good six-inch devil, maybe longer, like a small, skinny Gila monster. Jesus gave me permission to do what I did next: “I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.” (Luke 10:19)

Bam! Smack! Boom! The sandal did its extinguishing work. It was dead; the long night’s adventure over. Though I was now safe, it took me several hours to fall back asleep.

I kept feeling things crawling on my forehead, eyebrows, and in my hair….

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