Liberal Universities: An “F” for Faithfulness

WOULD YOU CONFESS YOUR SINS TO A PLANT? What if you were a seminary student learning to be a minister and this was taught by your professor? Wouldn’t you think something was amiss?

Of course, but that’s just what happened at New York’s Union Theological Seminary last week when an image was posted to Twitter of students gathered around a bunch of plants while one seminarian was apparently disclosing his deepest, darkest secrets to the flora fellowship.

This is the natural progression of “Liberal Theology,” not to be confused with Liberal politics.

Foremost expert on American theology, Gary Dorrien, an Episcopal priest and a professor at Union Theological Seminary, explains:

“Fundamentally, [Liberal Theology] is the idea of a genuine Christianity not based on external authority…[but] seeks to reinterpret the symbols of Christianity in a way that creates a progressive religious alternative…defined by its openness to the verdicts of modern intellectual inquiry, especially the natural and social sciences; its commitment to the authority of individual reason and experience; its conception of Christianity as an ethical way of life; its favoring of moral concepts of atonement; and its commitment to make Christianity credible and socially relevant to modern people.”

Though Union Theological Seminary shed its Presbyterian roots over a hundred years ago and became a flagship liberal institution devoted to many gods, there are other universities who also had a proud Christian heritage “based on an external authority” in the beginning, but then abandoned it for the spirit of the age.

“106 of the first 108 colleges were started on the Christian faith,” wrote April Shenandoah of the Sierra Times. “By the close of 1860 there were 246 colleges in America. Seventeen of these were state institutions; almost every other one was founded by Christian denominations or by individuals who avowed a religious purpose.”

Harvard College, named after a Christian minister, was founded in 1636 with this statement being its Original Rule:

Get Free Stuff!

“The best things in life are free—and $19.95!” –Billy Mays, famous television pitchman

I WENT TO A NEW DENTIST and was impressed by what I received after my initial visit, apart from the good news that I had no new cavities or tooth problems. They gave me a gift bag with all sorts of cool stuff in it: toothbrush, toothpaste, a custom coffee cup and a few more items. When was the last time you got a gift bag from your dentist, optometrist or proctologist? Bet ya never. I was so impressed with that token of appreciation—for my first-time visit—that I asked our Elder Board if we could do the same when guests visit  www.communitychurchofthehills.org.

They said yes.

Everyone loves free stuff, that’s why you will get a little something with every point of contact when you check out our church. The first thing you will get are free smiles and, if you aren’t too much of a rough and tumble Texan, a hug. Then we give you the gift bag. Inside, there is a one-of-kind coffee cup with our name and logo, worth at least ninety-nine bucks on Ebay, and a pass to see six free movies along with a unique pressed penny and some Test-a-mints. Yes, actual Christian breath mints, like Jesus and the Apostles chewed!

Does this sound like pandering or overkill? I thought the same thing too, at first, but people are extremely valuable to us here. We want you to know how much we love and appreciate you in the very first few minutes you arrive, and if this helps to convey a sense of caring, well, we spare no expense.

Fathers, Tell ‘Em About Jesus!

HEY, FATHERS! DO YOUR KIDS KNOW THE LORD?

Do you have the assurance that they will stand for Jesus in this crazy world that calls evil good, and good evil; that puts darkness for light, and light for darkness?

More importantly, do you have the assurance that they will go to Heaven and not to Hell, should they—God forbid—die prematurely?

Many parents expect their church to do the work of training up their children in the way they should go, and that it’s the pastor’s responsibility to make sure that every kid knows and obeys Christ.

Not true!

The Worst Neighbor in the World

THE HARDEST COMMAND IN THE BIBLE is “Love your enemy.” Another tough one is “Love your neighbor.” But what happens if your enemy and your neighbor are one and the same?

In the state where I’m from, there was no shortage of bad neighbors; I used to be one of them. But before I was a bad neighbor, I was a bad son which got me kicked out of my home at nineteen. On my own, nobody mattered but me: my place, my comfort, my peace. One night I threw all the patio furniture into the swimming pool after the apartment manager told me to get rid of my waterbed (which wasn’t allowed in the first place). My next-door neighbor ratted me out, so I bent all her BBQ utensils into U-shapes. No one ever figured it was me, but surely, they suspected. Instead of getting rid of the waterbed, by the way, I hooked a garden hose to my kitchen faucet, turned it on, and let the water “drain” out my bedroom window onto the driveway below for eight hours. I still slept soundly that night.

What Will Happen to the Class of 2019?

SOME MAY DIE. Most won’t. Some will drop out or change their minds about college, while others will train for a trade. Others may shack up or get married, while the majority, unfortunately, will get their hearts broken. Disease. Setbacks. Disappointments. Freedom and not knowing what to do with it. These are the challenges facing the graduating class of 2019. The same challenges the class of 2018 faced. And 2017. 2016…and every class previous.

It’s called life.

It’s taken 18 years for high school grads to get to this point. They’ve been in school for 2,160 days, spending 12,960 hours in classes which translates into 777,600 minutes. If one was a Frequent Flyer in Detention, then add a few more hours—or days. Each student has existed about 216 months, taking up space for 9,434,880 minutes, sleeping 52,500 hours, watching some sort of screen for 12,173 hours and spending 7,488 hours eating, mostly pizza and Mexican food.

Many will look back at their days in high school as the best ever. That was the easy part of life; it’s all uphill from here:. THE REAL WORLD AWAITS.