Get Free Stuff!

| 1 Comment

“The best things in life are free—and $19.95!” –Billy Mays, famous television pitchman

I WENT TO A NEW DENTIST and was impressed by what I received after my initial visit, apart from the good news that I had no new cavities or tooth problems. They gave me a gift bag with all sorts of cool stuff in it: toothbrush, toothpaste, a custom coffee cup and a few more items. When was the last time you got a gift bag from your dentist, optometrist or proctologist? Bet ya never. I was so impressed with that token of appreciation—for my first-time visit—that I asked our Elder Board if we could do the same when guests visit

They said yes.

Everyone loves free stuff, that’s why you will get a little something with every point of contact when you check out our church. The first thing you will get are free smiles and, if you aren’t too much of a rough and tumble Texan, a hug. Then we give you the gift bag. Inside, there is a one-of-kind coffee cup with our name and logo, worth at least ninety-nine bucks on Ebay, and a pass to see six free movies along with a unique pressed penny and some Test-a-mints. Yes, actual Christian breath mints, like Jesus and the Apostles chewed!

Does this sound like pandering or overkill? I thought the same thing too, at first, but people are extremely valuable to us here. We want you to know how much we love and appreciate you in the very first few minutes you arrive, and if this helps to convey a sense of caring, well, we spare no expense.

While here, you will get a free set of some of the best worship music on the planet, a mixture of classic hymns from the past mixed with contemporary praise music. We’ve just introduced a new component as well: old-time country spirituals, the foot-stomping, hand-clapping kind your granny used to sing in that musty smelling Baptist church with no air conditioning that she forced you to attend when you were eight.

Then, you’ll hear a free message, taught verse-by-verse, from the Bible. I won’t tell you what you have to do, but I will explain clearly what God says through his Word while giving you the historical setting of when it was written, along with a current way to apply it to your life so that you can make a choice of how you will choose to live.

Why free stuff? Because the Gospel is free. Jesus offers all who come to Him the free gift of eternal life for all who by faith and repentance, receive Him. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” When you trust Jesus, you also get a great “gift bag” that includes His Holy Spirit, who will guide you into all truth and a promise that He will never leave you nor forsake you. And, as a bonus, a relationship with the one true God of the universe, forgiveness of sins and, Heaven.

Hurry now. This free offer will not last.

It expires when you do.

One Comment

  1. I thinkk It is a great idea, really the coffie cup with the church name and or address and phone # on it is very helpfull for a reminder of the church. Good job youall !!!

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *.