I was on the sidewalk doing some weeding in the dirt garden that surrounds the perimeter of our house when I saw them coming! In the distance were a large herd of, uh, something—headed my way wearing red and white. Upon closer inspection I noticed the Redondo Beach High School track team ready and willing to run me over. And they were coming fast. I jumped up, ran to my car and grabbed a wad of million-dollar bills—just in a nick of time too. I handed out nearly fifty to the panting and sweaty runners who whooped and yelled as they waved their Gospel-tracts with delight while disappearing into the distance. -Steve Sanchez