It ranks as one of the most creative rebukes by pagans that I have ever experienced. I was out-numbered, out-witted, and out-and-out embarrassed. They shut me up and got me out—quickly!
One evening I stumbled upon a large family having a pleasant barbeque on the beach. The little red dots on the center of their foreheads identified them as Hindus, a cue I took from God as a sign that I needed to go over and invite myself to the hoedown. They were cooking something pungent and enjoying one another undisturbed in the glorious fade of the setting sun.
“Did you get one of these?” I asked the gathering, pulling out my trusty Million-Dollar bill Gospel tracts and handing them to each member of the large Indian family. With enthusiasm they grabbed them and started reading the back of the bill, which in no uncertain terms identifies the God who will judge them for their sin. I stood in front of the group and did something bold: I started preaching. “I want to ask you the million dollar question. If you were to die today would you go to Heaven or Hell?”
A child might have muttered, “Heaven.” Mostly, everyone continued to read the back of the tract.
“Has anyone ever lied? Or stolen anything?”
One or two hands were raised; the rest kept reading.
“If you’ve ever done any of those things then God sees you as a lying thief.”
“We don’t want to hear anymore,” one man said sternly.
“Why don’t you go away?” shouted another as he collected the tracts from the others. No one resisted.
“Please listen!” I insisted. “If you are found guilty on Judgment Day then—”
More men started shouting for me to leave. Ignoring them I pressed on and spoke louder. They needed to hear the truth and I would not be deterred. These people needed to turn from their idols and turn to the one true God.
“And if you are found guilty, then the penalty is—”
The leader did something shocking. I was appalled.
He suddenly started clapping and chanting some strange Indian tune in a very loud voice. Another man joined in. Then the others started clapping and singing, “Huh, yuh, meah coo, luh hoovoo nyuhnam, hinomm hoo”—or something like that. They all joined in together, getting louder and louder, and completely drowned out my preaching.
“CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! “Huh, yuh, meah coo luh hoovoo nyuhnam, hinomm hoo!” CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! They smiled and clapped and laughed and sang and completely ignored me!
I tried shouting over the din, but finally gave up. In humble acknowledgement of their creativity and persistence I smiled, conceding defeat. They smiled and nodded back, but kept on clapping and singing, not missing a beat.
The Hindu barbeque was ready to be served. I was raked over the coals, skewered and grilled. They burned me good.
No words from my Savior, “Well done good and faithful servant…”
Instead, I was well-done.