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A MODEST PROPOSAL FOR THE CHURCH IN 2016

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A MODEST PROPOSAL FOR RELIEVING THE BURDEN OF GUILT OF THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN DISOBEDIENT TO CHRIST’S COMMAND TO GO INTO ALL THE WORLD AND PREACH THE GOSPEL.

It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town or travel throughout theworld parish country, when they see in the streets, the roads, the bars, the movie complexes, stadiums and parks, all the lost for whom there is no hope, nor glimmer of smile from the weary and heavy-laden.

I think that it is agreed by all parties that Western Christianity has forsaken its sacred obligation, nay privilege, of spreading good news to all those who are perishing, those following gods of their own making, accountable to no one except their creditors and even then, slacking.

Years have passed and false Gospel presentations have been erected allowing all sinners to just ask Jesus into their hearts without fear of God or repentance of sin; the fruit of these endeavors being a false hope and negligible security for entrance into Heaven, but a most certain assurance of damnation to the lake of fire.

This being the case I shall now, therefore, humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.

I have been assured by my many meditations on the subject, and know in my heart that what I will suggest is true, just and right. I know this because I feel it, and we know that feelings are the basis for all established matters of good doctrine and practice. I do then, meekly offer to Christian consideration this: All our good works have come to naught.

The fruit of Christian charity and love has borne a nation in shambles, evidenced by divorce, abortion, gay marriage, debt, violence, and general putrefaction. The reason is because we have forsaken our first duty: to seek and to save that which is lost. We have neglected the preaching of God’s Law, impending judgment and a fiery Hell as eternal punishment for all who would trust in their own good works for salvation. We’ve also neglected the truth that Jesus saves when trusted and repentance of sins performed. This leading to a general disregard of all things Godly and perpetrating complete unbridled callousness toward everything decent.

To remedy this catastrophic condition I propose a cessation of all good works to focus our attentions solely on preaching the Gospel only.

Guilt trip evangelism

To this end, we shall eliminate programs for the poor, the invalid, the shut-in, and the prisoner, with all excess monies put toward speaking the truth in love by the proclamation of the Gospel. Leave the beggar in the street, the Samaritan in the gutter; let the atheist and idolater own him.

Paid ministers, youth leaders—all church staff— shall get real jobs, salaries devoted only to those bellwethers who warn of sin, righteousness and the judgment to come.

Preaching in churches shall cease, pulpits destroyed, pews torn asunder, whereby parishioners shall be displaced, forced into the streets, only to share spiritual wisdom with the dead in spirit.

Cries of the alien, orphan, and of the stranger will be ignored, replaced by the adherent’s promise to shout loudly, proclaiming proudly, that all should come to repentance and belief in the Savior.

preach

This should continue till revival breaks forth, God is feared, Christ exalted and Christianity proven true.

I profess, in the sincerity of my heart, that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the good of my country, my fellow man, and the furtherance of the Gospel.

Now read this tragic story from The Babylon Bee.

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