Stone the Preacher

Guys like this are reason enough for me to share my faith everyday….

And this is why I try to ask: “If you were to die today, would you go to Heaven or Hell?”

*See previous appointments by clicking here and here.

There was a Dublin painter named Paddy the Painter who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the parish priest decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of the Church.

Paddy put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job.

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine….

Well, Paddy was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Paddy clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Paddy was no fool.  He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty,
so he got down on his knees and cried:

“Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?”

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke: (more…)

Metal ladder in water, bare feet and a power tool. Hmmmm, another reason why I try to ask the million dollar question everywhere, which is: If you were to die today, would you go to Heaven or Hell?

Every Monday I post a new, strange and awful way that God has taken someone out of this life. The purpose of these “Sudden Death” columns is to remind us of the urgency to preach the Gospel. But there is a whole people group out there who are clueless: Husbands.

I’m providing this video as a warning. Husbands, if you find yourself saying any of the things you see in this video, STOP! Stop before I publish you as a Sudden Death! feature.

This is a 1513 classic copperplate engraving by Albrecht Dürer, called “Knight, Death and the Devil,” also known as “The Rider,” and it represents an allegory on Christian salvation. (Click this link, then on the image itself to get a larger version.)

Unflustered either by Death who is standing in front of him with his hour-glass, or by the Devil behind him, an armoured knight is riding along a narrow defile, accompanied by his loyal hound. This represents the steady route of the faithful, through all of life’s injustice, to God who is symbolized by the castle in the background. The dog symbolizes faith, and the lizard religious zeal. 

The lizard is obviously scampering around on the ground looking for someone to evangelize.

Where are the mice? In church, of course, where it’s safe.

(This is part 5 of a series. Part 1 starts here.)

Just before the inauguration on January 20, former President George W. Bush had some time to kill before traveling to D.C., so he joined our evangelism team at the Martin Luther King Jr. Parade. He, too, wanted to dress appropriately for the occasion so as to win as many to Christ as possible.
Taking inspiration from my “Obama the President” T-shirt, he did me one better—a whole lot better. And boy, could this ex-Pres preach! People listened in rapt attention as he discoursed on sin, righteousness and the judgment to come. It’s a good thing that he was able to dress accordingly.

Of course, he had the whole Presidential Cosmetic Surgeons’ team at his disposal.

READ PART 6 HERE!

(Thanks to the L.A. Times “Top of the Ticket” blog for the photos.)

A sidewalk preacher stood on a soapbox downtown and started a rousing sermon on salvation, ending with, “Brothers and Sisters, if you want to go to Heaven, come stand by me!”

Half of those standing around joined the preacher, and he went on, raising his voice and fervor, again with the call, “Brothers and Sisters, if you want to go to Heaven, come stand with me!”

Half of those left came over and the preacher continued, ending again with the call to Heaven. This time, all but one man came over.

“Brother!” the preacher called, “Don’t you want to go to Heaven when you die?”

The man said, “Oh sure, when I die. I thought you were taking a load up now!”

Here are the photos the major news media doesn’t want you to see! Both parties truly have a heart for the lost vote.

After listening to “Hell’s Best Kept Secret,” Senators McCain and Obama have a renewed purpose in life as they reach out to the truly undecided. (On such a serious day as today, I thought you’d appreciate a re-posting of something a little lighter…)

Here Senator Barack Obama takes advantage of his opportunity to take people through the “Good Test.”

Not to be outdone, Senator John McCain gets to the heart of eternal matters. (I wonder if he had his million dollar bills on him?)

I guess they tried for the evangelistic Evangelical vote, huh?

Click here for credits: (more…)

“Mr. Sanchez, did you see what Grant Browning is wearing?”

Over and over again, at our church’s annual Harvest Party, kids came up to me with a big grin and asked that question. “Pastor Steve, have you seen Grant yet?” “You won’t believe what Grant is!”

There was already a kid going as Barack Obama. I suggested to his dad that his son should pass out million dollar bill Gospel tracts and say, “I’m spreading the wealth around.” He did.

“Have you seen Grant’s costume, Pastor Steve?”

No, but I did see the big cow. And the guy dressed as a used car brochure, and the 32 Annakin Skywalkers.

“Has anyone seen Grant Browning?” I asked, my curiosity completely piqued. Then I saw him. I couldn’t believe it.

I looked closely at his name tag and the tracts in his breast pocket…

It was me! The Hawaiian shirt was even purchased at a thrift store, where I like to shop for my  Aloha-wear.

It was the most ridiculous outfit I had ever seen.

That’s the amount of screen time “Righteous Richard” Chavarria, our intrepid DMV preacher, got in the final cut of “Battle for the Lost,” the first of the thirteen episodes that comprise the recently released Season 3 of The Way of the Master video series.

Not bad for a fourteen hour day’s work as an extra.

I’m sure glad I didn’t go….

Read the behind-the-scenes story here!

Read about Richard getting beat up at the DMV here!

An avian atheist? Absolutely. And an angry attitude, also.

Some people say that handing out tracts is for the birds…. But as you can clearly see, that’s just not true as my daughters D.D. and Laurel found out while attempting to “witness” to this bird brain on the Redondo Beach Pier.

For another angry animal who hates our Gospel tracts, click here to see the “Demon Dog of Hollywood Blvd.”