mini-vangie: Elevator Elation!


“Let’s go to the elevator for some ‘Inner Air’ preaching,” I suggested to my cohorts in Gospel crime.
null Richard is always agreeable and up for an adventure, Stephanie, too. In we went along with a small group of three or four others. I handed a Million-dollar bill Gospel tract to each of the unsuspecting passengers, then I said, “On the back of the million-dollar bill is the million dollar question: If you were to die today, would you go to Heaven or Hell?”

The elevator door closed.

“If you have broken just one of the 10 Commandments,” I continued, “if you’ve ever lied one time, or stolen one thing, then God sees you as a lying thief…”

“Hey! That’s not fair!” a passenger protested. “We’re a captive audience!”

Hmmm… wise man, I thought. “…And if you’re found guilty of breaking just one commandment that’s called sin. If you’ve committed one sin, then you’ll be found guilty on Judgment Day and will have to spend eternity in Hell.”

The passenger looked panicked when the elevator stopped at his floor. Though I was speaking in a conversational tone, this man could not stand the sound of my voice speaking God’s words. “But you don’t have to go to Hell. For God so loved the world that He gave His One and only Son, that whosoever should believe in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life. If you repent of your sins and trust in the Savior, you’ll be forgiven of every sin you have ever committed!”

The elevator doors opened and the man slammed into them as he rushed out of there like a bat out of, er, Hell.

He shouted to the next group waiting to board, “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in there!”

I smiled at Richard as he held the door open a little extra longer for the new congregants entering, giving me some extra time as I began my next “One Floor Sermon.”


  1. Just a gnat’s whisker away from the Jesus van guy. Pushing your fairy stories onto the unsuspecting.

    I ask you this.

    An all powerful all knowing omnipotent god needs you to spread the word in a lift ? Do you not realise the insanity of this ?

    Is god so weak as not to get the word across to everyone all the time at once ? can you not see that even if god does exist then he is a weak god needing his own creation to convince other members of his own creation he is there.

    If people need to “Find” god where is he hiding ? If sinners need his word why does he not speak to them directly ?. If god is all poweful why is he powerless compared to you in a lift ?

    Scaring people with HELL FIRE AND DAMNATION !! even in your winsome cheeky way surley is a negative. God needs you a humble american to scare people into believing in him !!! it really does sound daft when you say it out loud !


  2. I appreciate the compliment the I’m “a humble American.” I struggle greatly with pride… ;>)

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