Atheist/Evolutionist Holiday Cards

22 CommentsAtheist Tuesday

This will be a seasonal re-post tradition….

If I had no hope of an afterlife, and if I thought I was here by sheer chance (or something like that), and if there was no real purpose in life, I’d send one of these!

If I thought that I was put here on a pale blue planet for no other reason than to make a debilitating carbon footprint and to eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow I die, then I would send one of these.

And if I didn’t believe in God,  didn’t think I was culpable to a Being greater than I, had no fear of recompense for my moral failures and sin…

… if I was able to ignore my conscience…

…and if I could overlook all the obvious evidences of our incredible, beautiful, wondrous universe that clearly shows that everything was designed, and then pronounce that there is no Designer…

…and if I truly could discount all those crazies warning me to repent because my time was short…

…then, and only then, would I send one of these cards to my temporal acquaintances who are simply living meaningless, purposeless lives.

Want to see what’s inside the Snowman card?)

Merry Christmas to all my unbelieving friends (who have no real reason to celebrate this season). C’mon, “Reasons Greetings” doesn’t really cut it now, does it? Does it?

(Cards are from “Order of St. Nick’s Funny Greeting Cards.“)

Comments (22)

  1. Nohm

    Reply

    [Facepalm]

    Sigh

    Again, Steve, you’re trying to tell us what we think and you’re getting it significantly wrong. I don’t think you made a single claim up there, about people like myself, that I agree with, with the exception of the following quotes (and only these specific words):

    1. “If I had no hope of an afterlife”
    2. “And if I didn’t believe in God”
    3. “a Being ”
    4. “and sin”
    5. “and all those crazies warning me to repent because my time was short”

    Aaaand, that’s it. Every single other word you used above is something that I disagree with, and in no way applies to the actual opinions that I have.

    Steve, doesn’t there come a point where you have to say to yourself, “Ya know, Steve, nearly every time I say that atheists think a certain thing, or have a specific belief, I’m wrong. Maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t do that any more.”

    Right?

  2. BathTub

    Reply

    Yeah without being able to refer to all those bible verses to tell us how to decorate our trees, and exchange gifts with our loved ones, or feast and party with them, what ever would we do on this solstice celebration?

    It’s harder to decide which bible verses I miss the most.
    The bible verse about putting up mistletoe.

    The bible verse about anthropamorphic snowmen.

    Or maybe it’s the verses about the jolly fat guy who flys around the world on a sleigh pulled by reindeer giving gifts to good girls and boys.

    Yeah that’s probably it.

  3. BathTub

    Reply

    Next you’ll be saying how I can’t play with eggs and eat chocolate rabbits at Eostre!

  4. Steve Sanchez

    Reply

    Nohm: I qualified my statements. This is what I said: “If I had no hope…” “I,” that is “me.” Not you or anyone else. “I.”

    It’s okay if I write “If I thought…” isn’t it?

    Hope I cleared that up! ;.)

    I yi yi!!!

  5. Nohm

    Reply

    Steve, you make a good point that you qualified *most* of your statements, and so I have to retract *most* of my complaints.

    Except for this quote from you, which was not qualified:

    “Merry Christmas to all my unbelieving friends (who have no real reason to celebrate this season). C’mon, “Reasons Greetings” doesn’t really cut it now, does it? Does it?”

    (Emphasis added)

    I have family members who celebrate Christmas, both the religious version (for some) and the secular version (for others). So, that’s reason enough for me.

    But, all things considered, I don’t think it was unreasonable for me to think that you were implying that atheists think the above issues. But, as you said, you did qualify them with “If I…”, so if you were just talking about yourself, then you’re covered for all but the final sentence.

  8. Nohm

    Reply

    “Nohm, you have no REAL reason to celebrate this season (CHRISTmas). ”

    Hi Steve,

    1. Please again do not tell me what I think or how real my reasons for anything are, as I have not treated you in this manner.
    2. Is “spending time with people I don’t get to see often” not a real reason to celebrate this season (WINTER time).
    3. Whatever the roots of Christmas (and I assume that you agree that many of the things now associated with it have pagan origins), I hope you’re not trying to argue that it hasn’t morphed into a secular holiday.

    So, for nothing else, “celebrating by spending time with people I love during a holiday that is important to them” is a real enough reason to me.

    “You can call it something else”

    I don’t. Christmas is fine. I’d rather not get into semantics.

    “but there’s no real reason for the season.”

    I hope by that you really mean:

    “but there’s no real reason for the season if I, Steve, was a non-believer.”

    Right?

    How’s this for another reason? –> I get to spend time in a warmer climate in winter.

    Sounds like a good reason to me.

    • Steve Sanchez

      Reply

      Nohm, the best reasons you gave: “celebrating by spending time with people I love during a holiday that is important to them” & “I get to spend time in a warmer climate in winter.”

      Okay then!

      Merry Christmas! I’m enjoying our conversations!

      And to you, too, Bathtubz!

  13. perdita

    Reply

    “Nohm, you have no REAL reason to celebrate this season (CHRISTmas). You can call it something else, but there’s no real reason for the season.”

    Wow. Steve – remember your post were you admitted that Christmas was a co-opted pagan holiday? Christ was put into the season. But that’s a side point. How dare you decide if other people have REAL reasons to celebrate.

  14. Garrett

    Reply

    Oh Golly Jeepers, you repost last year’s comments too.

    Nothing for me to do here besides wish everyone a happy holiday season, and to stay safe.

  15. perdita

    Reply

    Yeah – I didn’t notice that until after I posted.

    Still, “You can call it something else, but there’s no real reason for the season.”

    One thing that I don’t think you understand is that Christmas – and I’m talking the religious Christmas – was nothing like it is today. These celebrations have evolved and will continue to evolve.

    Christmas Day was not an important holiday for the first three centuries of Christians. It wasn’t even celebrated. (Celebrating the Annunciation seems to have preceded celebrating Christmas – that would help explain why December 25th was picked for the Nativity.)

    When the Nativity was celebrated, it was a side part for more important celebrations (Epiphany). Now, add all the pagan winter festivals going on at the same time (Saturnalia, Yule) and mix well. Gradually, the Nativity overshadowed Epiphany and the other winter Christian feasts and celebrations, and appropriated the pagan traditions – caroling, giving gifts, parties, decorations – and drinking.

    This is one reason why Puritans didn’t celebrate Christmas. (I believe it was outlawed in England when Cromwell was in charge.)

    So, remember, the fun stuff in Christmas – from the pagans.

    Merry Christmas!

  16. Nohm

    Reply

    perdita,

    As you are well aware, this was not the first, nor the last, time that Steve has tried to tell me or someone else how I believe or what I think.

    I hope that Steve has reached a point where he realizes that he does not actually have telepathy.

    Fortunately, Steve did write:

    “Nohm, the best reasons you gave: “celebrating by spending time with people I love during a holiday that is important to them” & “I get to spend time in a warmer climate in winter.”

    Okay then!“

  17. vintango2k

    Reply

    @ Perdita

    Are you asserting that in the real world, ideas, cultures, and religious practices have CHANGED OVER TIME!? That Christians have adopted Pagan practices and that our traditions have changed with every successive generation, sometimes varying with different generations, some adding practices like caroling, or some losing some like going to midnight mass on Christmas? According to that article Steve posted, that sounds an awful lot like ‘Darwinist’ speak to me….

  18. Garrett

    Reply

    Actually Steve, I think I meant to post “Oh good” and did not use sufficient vowels. But “Golly Jeepers” will suffice.

  19. vintango2k

    Reply

    I am a little curious Steve what you think is designed in this universe as you listed in your post? Things like Cancer or viruses or even the Cymothoa exigua, what exactly were they designed to do?

  20. Nameless Cynic

    Reply

    Bad news, Steve. The fictional “war on Christmas,” aside from being only in the minds of the people who want there to be one, has already been won, because your side capitulated.

    Christians are actually among the most likely to enjoy elements of the Christmas season not related to Jesus’ birth, with 66 percent saying they watch fictional Christmas movies, as compared to half of agnostics or those with no preference, and less than half of atheists and Americans of other religions.

  21. Siobhan

    Reply

    I love this! want to buy them and give them to my family whom I dearly love and yet they do not accept the Lord.

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