I had an 11am memorial service to do at a local mortuary and the Funeral Director was nowhere to be found. I waited and waited for him to show up but he didn’t. I then decided to open the secret door that goes into the crematorium… and there he was.

“I’ll be with you in a moment,” said the flush-faced and sweaty Director. He told me there was a 450 pound woman that needed to be cremated, but every time he turned on the burners they would flame-out. “You know how hard it is to move a lady that size in and out of the oven? At this rate she won’t be done until 6pm!”

We started the service at about 11:10 and I gave the Gospel to those attending. I always give the Gospel at a funeral.