Hollywood Boulevard isn’t safe. It’s a dangerous street. An awful dark-and-stormy-night type of street, even in daytime. Every corner holds a new terror, strange freaks of nature, horrible hobgoblins.
You might be forced to pay a buck to the crazy guy in the Gene Simmons KISS get-up;
Or a googly-eyed Scientologist might entice you to “get clear” for a thousand greenbacks; a zombified Tony Alamo Ministries’ disciple might just hand you a newsletter; or, or, worst of all—you might get your hand bitten off by the dreaded, mythical, Demon Dog of Hollywood Boulevard.!!! (Cue the “Psycho” soundtrack.)
You may never have heard of this legend oft-told by vagrants huddled around firepits under the 101 freeway. It’s been spotted once a fortnight by average men, only to be driven insane, then hired as president of a movie studio. This dog, I’ve heard, drove Gere to Tibet, Ricky to Lucy, McLaine to the limb.
Our fearless team of evangelists were caught unaware, tracts in hand, full of the Spirit…
…and then he struck!
One of the team innocently offered a million dollar bill Gospel tract to a passerby,
…a simple, kind gesture–a message from Heaven–motivated by love and concern for the lost,
…when all of a sudden… STRIKE!
Viscious. Relentless. Dog-goned dangerous! This Gehenna Chihuaha snapped with the full fury of Hell’s minions arrayed against the servants of the Most High God.
There was no hope for converting this canine…
…the Demon Dog of Hollywood Boulevard!
“Outside are the dogs…”