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mini-vangie: Return of the Pests!

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Jehovah’s Witnesses are a persistent lot.
null I’m continually amazed at their dedication to the cause of a false religion. Case in point: They were “pioneering” in my neighborhood again! They were just here a couple of day ago (see below). This time I was in a hurry and couldn’t hang around to chat for very long. They were standing at the bottom of my steps; so I hurried down to greet them with a few Million-dollar bill Gospel tracts. “Hi! Since you are always giving away your literature, I’d like to give you mine… a million dollar bill.”

The two ladies looked at it, but refused to take it. JW’s are trained not to take any literature from people. “C’mon,” I insisted, “you are always handing out your stuff; it’s only fair that you take this from me.”

No go. They continued to politely stare and listen. “Oh! You must read what’s on the back. Did you know that there is a message written on the back? Tell you what, I’ll read it to you now…”

The two ladies were a captive audience. They couldn’t leave because that would have been just plain rude and a bad Jehovah’s Witness witness. I began to read. “It says, ‘The million-dollar question: Will you go to Heaven? Here’s a quick test.’” I read fast not knowing if they would suddenly leave, offended that I mentioned Heaven, which they don’t believe in. “Have you ever told a lie, stolen anything or used God’s name in vain?” Amazingly, they listened to everything including, “The Bible warns that if you are guilty you will end up in Hell,” which they also don’t believe in.” I wished them a Merry Christmas (which they don’t celebrate), and sent them on their way.

Turning on their heels, they returned a forced smile and scurried away.

I hopped in my car with a self-satisfied smile and drove to my destination. null

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